Mark Gungor is a pastor who spent many years talking with unhappy couples and finally decided to put an end to their unhappiness. After working through a mountain of literature and mastering the complex art of pantomime, this energetic pastor became a true stand-up comedy master, focusing on family, relationships between men and women, and the differences between the sexes.
Part 1. The Male and Female Brain
Listen to/download MP3 – Part 1
Part 2. The Number-One Key to Incredible Sex
Listen to/download MP3 – Part 2
Marital Relationships Step No. 1 You must avoid bitterness and resentment
Bitterness and resentment arise when one person feels that the burden of the relationship has been unfairly placed on them. When the weight of the relationship rests on their shoulders rather than those of their spouse, people begin to feel bitterness and resentment toward their spouse.
Women and men keep score very differently when determining which of them is carrying more of the load.
When it comes to evaluating ourselves, we men give ourselves the highest scores for everything we do. We get out of bed even though we would like to lie around a little longer, and immediately give ourselves 500 points for it… That is why many men sit on the couch and do nothing—in their minds, they have earned enough points for the day. Many men resent their wives when they make them do something, because according to male psychology, they have already earned all the points they need.
He gets out of bed even though he would not mind lying around a little longer, and for that he receives love and appreciation—one point… She also woke up, took the children to kindergarten and school, cleaned the toilet… The score is 14:3 in the woman’s favor. That is why she yells when you are sitting on the couch.
You mean I get only one point for something I would never have done? Yes, that is how a woman evaluates it… Women appreciate any good deed and reward you for it as though it were a great accomplishment. Men do not understand this; they think an act must be significant and special. But you women should understand that the reason we do not do household chores is that they are not significant to us.
Since it means nothing to us men, it means nothing to you women either. But men make a mistake: she keeps score differently… She falls in love with you because of simple acts of kindness… What do you do when the score is so unequal that everything gets out of control? Marital relationships
Step No. 2. You should have a RESET button at hand
Every time you press the reset button, everything returns to its original state. Wouldn't it be great to have a reset button in relationships too? When everything becomes chaotic, the score is unequal, and things get out of control—all you need to do is press the button, and everything will return to its previous state. Do you know that God has given us such a button? When we are hurt, we seek revenge. In our minds, “taking revenge” means remaining offended and unforgiving. But the problem is that those who refuse to forgive suffer the most.
Unforgiveness is like taking poison in the hope that the other person will die. Honestly, I have never understood why so many people struggle with this, especially Christians. Jesus taught the following: if you do not forgive people, God will not forgive you. It is very simple. You are only deceiving yourself. “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”—this is not even up for discussion. Forgiveness is an action, not an emotion.
