Lesson 14. The “Effective Prayer” School. Mary Alice Isleyb shared the impact that the prayer of forgiveness brings.
And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your sins. Mark 11:25
The Prayer of Forgiveness helps us deal with the condition of our hearts in our daily relationships with people. Jesus knew that we would need the help of such a prayer in our relationships with others.
The prayer of forgiveness enables us to remain free from offenses, unforgiveness, and resentment resulting from our interaction with the world around us. What the Bible says about forgiveness is very important, and Jesus Himself often spoke about it.
The prayer of forgiveness is vital for keeping relationships pure. A lack of forgiveness will cool our faith. Jesus directly connects the prayer of forgiveness with the prayer of faith.
Unforgiveness is a killer of faith. It causes faith to stop working. If we harbor unforgiveness, we cannot walk in love, and Galatians 5:6 says: “...faith working through love.” No love, no active faith!
That is why Jesus says that when you stand in the prayer of faith and have an offense against someone, forgive them; you should be confident that you hold no offense against anyone.
Forgiveness is the key to the operation of your faith. It is a wonderful characteristic that defines our lives.
I would like to share with you how forgiveness led to faith for healing. I was at a meeting with a woman who had severe arthritis. There always had to be someone with her to help her get around.
We had almost begun praying for her when my friend said to her, “The Holy Spirit says that you are holding resentment against someone, and before we pray, we need to deal with this.” (Unforgiveness does not always cause illness, but it does open the door to it.)
“Yes,” the woman replied, “I hate my husband. He has already died, but he treated me very badly all his life.” Just imagine—the husband was already dead, yet she was still full of resentment, hatred, unforgiveness, and anger toward him. Her life was wasting away because she was angry. “All right, are you ready to get rid of this from your life?” “Yes, I’m ready.”
The Holy Spirit had prepared her. She wept, cried out, and forgave. She prayed a prayer of forgiveness, while we laid hands on her and prayed for her healing, but nothing happened. She left just as she had come.
The following evening, the pastor said, “If God has done something good for you in this service, I would like you to testify about it.” The woman raised her hand and shouted, “I have a testimony.” She stood up, and we saw that she was the woman we had prayed for the previous day. “I have the most amazing testimony. For years, I took aspirin because of arthritis. I walked with an escort because of arthritis.” She walked between the rows without an escort. Then she cried out again, “Today, for the first time in many years, I walked without an escort and did not take aspirin. And I will never take aspirin again, because I am completely healed. I no longer have arthritis—glory to the Lord!”
The whole church began praising God with joyful cries. It was an extraordinary testimony, because not only was her body healed, but she also became free and happy through the prayer of forgiveness.
We Are Commanded to Forgive
Paul knew this, and in Ephesians 4:32 he effectively commands Christians to forgive one another: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Christ forgave you. When there was chaos within you, when you did foolish things, when you were against God and bound by sin, the Lord, in His love and mercy, completely forgave you. You did not deserve it; you received forgiveness through His goodness, love, and mercy.
The Lord loves you so much that He forgives every word, thought, and action that is contrary to Him. And if you ask Him, He will not even remember it, because His blood has separated you from sin as far as the east is from the west.
Therefore, Paul says: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
The Lord wants you, His child, to forgive others just as He forgave you. It is not as impossible as it sometimes seems. Whatever the Word of God tells us to do, we can do. God Himself will help us.
I would like to explain something about unforgiveness. You do not need to dig inside yourself and search for unforgiveness. If you have an honest, open heart, you will know about it. If your heart is open, the Lord will show you. He will reveal it to you through the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit will shed light on your words, relationships, thoughts, and actions, and they will become pure. You do not need to feel embarrassed or probe your soul in search of unforgiveness.
“I wonder whether there is unforgiveness in my heart?” Trust the Holy Spirit in this, ask Him to show you, and then accept it and pray a prayer of forgiveness. Get rid of it! It is dangerous to allow offense to take root in your heart. It is sin.
If offense has taken root in your heart, let the power of God uproot it through the prayer of forgiveness. God wants you to be pure, full of mercy and forgiveness in all your relationships, with everyone. It may seem impossible, but Jesus will help you if you are open and willing to change.
Protection for Our Hearts
The prayer of forgiveness comes from our hearts, and one of its effects is protection from unwanted enemies. It protects us from hatred, offense, resentment, and discord.
Since we all interact with one another, negative feelings can easily enter our lives. The prayer of forgiveness guards our hearts so that these feelings do not enter and take root there.
When we pray the prayer of petition—which is an act of love and faith—we set mercy in motion: the mercy of God and our own. It is a way to express God's love to other people and find peace in our minds and hearts toward them, even in negative situations.
I once heard someone say: “If someone has sinned against you, spoken badly about you, or there is tension and unforgiveness in the relationship, you should respond this way: ‘I see that this person needs my prayer.’”
So, instead of reacting as people usually do—striking back, becoming angry, taking offense, and refusing to forgive—we can, through the Lord's love, see that this person needs prayer. This person needs help. By offending you and being in conflict with you, they are, in a sense, saying: “I need prayer.” If you pray for those who cause you pain, it will protect your heart (Matt. 5:44).
Make forgiveness your way of life. When people sin against you in some way, remember that they are, in a sense, asking for prayer. If you pray for them, it will help you live in love, forgiveness, and understanding in your relationships with everyone.
One of the dangers of unforgiveness in a Christian's life is offense and tension toward God. Often, offense goes hand in hand with rebellion, because one definition of rebellion is offense.
Through the prophet Isaiah, God said that the fruits of Israel's children's resentment (rebellion) were wounds, bruises, and festering sores (Isa. 1:2, 6).
Many will say, “But that’s just my nature. I’m very easily offended and hurt.” These people simply allow self-pity and unforgiveness to control their lives. Others think that offense is a natural reaction, but this is self-deception.
I am not saying that pain does not exist. It is very real, but it must be dealt with, and the healer of all pain is Jesus Christ.
There are people who simply worship their pain; they cherish their offense and use it to justify their actions and blame others. “Oh, I was hurt so badly. Please pray about it.”
Get rid of resentment and heaviness!
If nothing changes, the roots of offense turn into resentment, and this resentment against God and people has a negative effect!
Wounds that are not dealt with in time through the prayer of forgiveness, repentance, and prayer for relationships become a wall of isolation and heaviness in a person’s heart. Then such people become rude toward others, their family, and God.
“No one will hurt me again. It happened too often in the past. You don’t know how badly I was treated. You don’t know what they said or how much it hurt me!”
This pain leads to the building of a wall of alienation, which a person hopes will protect them. Sometimes it is not easy to see this wall—people often wear different masks—but pain turns into alienation and resentment, most often toward people, but also toward God.
Jesus wants you to be free from offense, feelings of rejection, resentment, and every negative word spoken against you! He wants to free you from such a burden in your life. None of this will take root in you unless you allow it.
Hatred, rejection, offenses—all these walls must fall. Every wall must be torn down in the Name of Jesus. Every pain must leave. Stop accepting it and enjoying self-pity; rise up against the barriers!
“But I was hurt, and I will defend myself.” Any self-defense is rebellion. The moment you try to defend yourself, you become resentful and rebel, thereby demonstrating independence from God and dependence on yourself. However you look at it, it is rebellion.
“Fine, but that’s just my nature; people always offend and reject me.” No. You have a false perspective. Offense and resentment against God and people must simply go! We were created to be sensitive to God and to one another; and we are called not to come under the control of other people’s evil spirits, but to live in true, pure love, mercy, and openness.
If we do not overcome offense and pain, they will become a burden—a wall of resentment and self-protection, independence from others, and, most dangerously, from the Lord. He will not be able to do anything if a wall stands in the way. Others will not be able to help us either if the wall does not fall, because in this way we build a barrier against the Spirit of God; and unless we tear it down, it will affect our lives.
Offense, pain, and resentment are dangerous things. But, thank God, complete forgiveness and healing are available in the Lord. You have a choice: forgiveness, or offense, pain, and a life of rejection. It is better to choose forgiveness. Choose to live in victory, not defeat.
Choose forgiveness. This is not the choice of the flesh, the world, or what we have been taught; it is the choice of the Spirit. Choose forgiveness right now! If these things have already overwhelmed you and you are not in control of the situation, cry out to the Lord and ask Him to set you free, and He will help you! Insist on freedom. Jesus is the Healer and Deliverer!
Live, constantly forgiving
In the New Testament, we find passages where Peter asks Jesus about forgiveness:
Lord! How many times shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times? Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21–22
Peter thought it would be enough to forgive seven times. But Jesus answered that forgiveness is so essential that we must forgive 490 times!
This is how Jesus sees it and wants us to see it as well. He emphasizes the importance of forgiveness. I do not believe He was referring to praying a prayer of forgiveness over and over again; we can pray a prayer of forgiveness and know that it has been done by faith.
I think Jesus is saying that there is always an opportunity to forgive, and no matter how many times we have to do it, we must continually walk in forgiveness and purity of heart toward others.
The Lord takes our relationships with people seriously. And He takes offense and unforgiveness seriously. Of course, the easiest thing—and what most people do—is to shift the blame for our problems onto others.
However, when it comes to forgiveness and our relationships with people, our motives and thoughts, the Holy Spirit always points to us first. He says, “It does not matter what someone else does; what matters is what you do and how you respond.”
This is what Peter was asking about. Jesus made it clear to him that we must always forgive and that responsibility for the relationship rested with Peter.
We must release debts
Peter’s question reveals the first step toward a prayer of forgiveness. You must forgive the person who treated you badly. What did Peter ask? “How many times should I forgive?” You must always forgive from the heart,
Our feelings should have nothing to do with this, because our feelings may want to hit this person and never see them again.
But if you and I have chosen the Lord’s way and cooperation with the Holy Spirit, we must do what is said in Matthew 18:35: forgive from the heart and acknowledge it before the Lord with our lips.
What does it mean to forgive? Let us turn to the Amplified Bible: “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how many times should I forgive him and release my resentment?” To forgive means to let go.
Jesus released us from everything we had done wrong. He released every debt we owed. He forgave every sin. He set us free from it and let it go.
How many times should I let it go? Do not trouble yourself with counting, Jesus says; simply walk in forgiveness.
We see these same principles in the prayer Jesus gave His disciples: “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).
Notice that it says: “Lord, You forgive us as we forgive those who have sinned against us.”
I like forgiving and releasing debts. Someone may say, “All right, I will forgive, but…” No, you must unconditionally release the debt. Choose forgiveness and release everything the person owes you, including every offense. You must pay his account with forgiveness and completely cancel the debt. Do not try to calculate how much he owes, how to collect the debt, or how deeply you have been hurt. You must forgive from the heart.
Do Not Hold It Against Them, Father
The second step in a prayer of forgiveness is asking God to forgive those who owe you. The story of Stephen, described in Acts 7, is a good example of this second step. Stephen preached under the anointing of the Holy Spirit, but the religious people of that time were angered by the power, wisdom, and authority of the Lord that came through Stephen as he spoke. At first they simply covered their ears, and then they decided to kill him! In verses 59 and 60 we read:
And they stoned Stephen as he prayed and said, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.
What did Stephen pray for? He cried out in a prayer of forgiveness: “Father, forgive them!” He prayed for them, asking the Lord not to condemn them for the evil they had done.
Jesus prayed in exactly the same way. Do you remember His last words on the cross? “Father, forgive them.” He was saying, “Father, I forgive them, and I ask You to forgive them and not judge them.” He cried out for them to be set free, for the Lord to forgive them.
This aspect of the prayer of forgiveness partly resembles intercessory prayer, when we stand in the gap for someone, asking God not to hold against them the sins committed against us. How much love there is in this prayer! And it has nothing to do with our feelings, whether good or bad.
Remember, this is our choice, our decision. We choose the prayer of forgiveness, and if we believe when we pray, it works. God hears and answers such prayer. He is pleased with it!
Prayer of Forgiveness
In the prayer of forgiveness, we take three steps: first, we forgive; second, we ask God to forgive; third, we ask God to forgive us.
If you got into a fight because of an offense, said terrible words; if you were overcome by evil thoughts and feelings, hatred, and the like; if you gave place to unforgiveness, you need to ask God to forgive you for your actions, words, and thoughts.
You must call it by its true name: sin. Simply ask God to forgive you. Pray: “Father, thank You for showing me my heart. Thank You for loving me. Father, I ask You to forgive this person for what they did and how they behaved, and everyone else who was involved in this situation.”
“I ask in faith, out of the love in my heart and with complete sincerity. I ask, Father, forgive them, and I forgive them. I forgive them for all the words that hurt me. I forgive them, and I ask You to forgive them, and together we release this.”
“And, Father, I ask You to forgive me for being involved in this. I was angry, spoke angrily, and held on to resentment, but I do not want this to go any further. I do not want the roots of offense to remain in me.
Father, I ask You to forgive me. I know that I said this to that person while I was in a wrong spirit. Father, forgive me. I acknowledge this sin. I have sinned against You and against them. I acknowledge this and thank You that You are righteous and simply forgive and restore my condition. I thank You, Father, for cleansing my heart and mind by the Holy Spirit in these relationships.”
You do not need to be religious. Simply pray sincerely from your heart, with faith. Confess your sin before God and ask Him to forgive you.
Be Free from Pain
Now, step four: surrender all the emotions connected with that situation to the Lord. Pray about the pain and hurt, and be released from them in the presence of God. Let go of all these feelings as you pray.
It is very simple. Pray like this: “Father, I also ask You and thank You for healing me right now from all those words and hurts. I do not want to come to You with self-pity, pride, or heaviness in my heart toward You and others.
“Father, I ask You to touch my heart. I choose not to take offense anymore. I am released from all hurts and negative emotions in these relationships. Father, I bless those who cursed me.”
“Thank You, Father, for Your power in my heart and mind that takes away all bad feelings. I receive Your power now. I have it, and I thank You for it in the name of Jesus. Holy Spirit, touch my feelings, hurt, and emotions. I thank You in the name of Jesus. I refuse to accept pain, anger, loneliness, or depression.”
“Thank You, Father, for the freedom and flow of the Holy Spirit touching my heart and mind right now. I receive this by faith: my heart, mind, and soul are healed. Holy Spirit, I receive You as my Comforter.”
When the Holy Spirit brings healing, tears of cleansing and release sometimes come. Let those tears flow. The Holy Spirit is helping you. Be sure that you are not crying merely out of self-pity, but because rivers of healing are flowing from your heart.
Many people pray for forgiveness but are never released from the emotions that arose in that situation. By an act of faith, with words, let go of the emotions, anger, hurt, and pain. When you are released from these things, the power of the Holy Spirit, if you believe, will calm you and fill you with grace and the blessing of healing.
Choose to Forget
The fifth and final step: Forget! Simply forget it in prayer. Again, this is your choice. Many people want to remember, think, and talk about it. No! Forget it! If you do this in prayer, the Holy Spirit will help you.
This does not mean that the relationship will automatically change; you may still need to work through some things, but in prayer your heart is cleansed. If the Holy Spirit leads you to pray this way, follow Him! There is power in such prayer.
If you want, you can pray in tongues. No problem. Pray in the Spirit if you want, and then say: “Father, I have prayed about this; I declare before You that I am letting it go. I choose to forget everything. Holy Spirit, help me. I am letting it go. It is finished. I am forgetting about it through God’s love in my heart, in Jesus’ name.”
“Holy Spirit, help me bear this. Help me, Father, because I still need to communicate with these people; but now I will do so in purity and love, not with resentment, unforgiveness, or heaviness. I can walk in Your wisdom and purity and maintain these relationships victoriously through Your power.
“I thank You, Father, for helping me in my relationships. In Jesus’ name, I will keep my heart in righteousness. Thank You, Father, that I can now walk in forgiveness. May forgiveness flow from me. Thank You for this.”
“Satan, I bind and destroy your control over my life. You will not be able to bind me in this situation, in Jesus’ name. I destroy the power of all evil forces in my life. Thank You, Jesus, for the victory. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Your goal is to develop a life of forgiveness. If you need to cleanse your heart and forgive others, you can pray this prayer. You can have a life in which you forgive easily and quickly and live in a spirit of forgiveness.
You can be completely free from all the burdens of human relationships and be happy, pure, and free before God and people. It is so good when there is no unforgiveness, resentment, or strife in your life!
End of lesson.
