Dmitriy Leo, senior pastor of Father’s Blessing Church, shared Lesson 3: “Grieving the Holy Spirit.” “Knowing the Holy Spirit” School
If we seek to build a relationship with the Holy Spirit, we must not grieve Him. Amen. This is a very important part, a very important detail. Our relationship with the Holy Spirit is much more delicate than our relationship with a person. The Holy Spirit is much more sensitive than a person because He is holy.
And we will read from the Word of God what grieves the Holy Spirit. We must certainly take something very valuable for ourselves from this lesson today. We must receive instruction.
And the first thing that grieves the Holy Spirit is an improper attitude toward our brothers and sisters.
Ephesians 4:30–32: “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking, with all malice, be put away from you; and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
Question: How did God forgive you? How much did God forgive? The correct answer is: He forgave everything!
Let bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking, with all malice, be put away from you, because this grieves the Holy Spirit. So remember: it is no longer about who offended you or who caused you to suffer (because people can offend you deservedly or undeservedly); it is no longer only about the person—it is about the Holy Spirit. This grieves Him.
In other words, someone may treat you wrongly, even very badly, but you must under no circumstances allow “bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking, with all malice,” but instead be “kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving… as God in Christ forgave you,” SO THAT you do not grieve the Holy Spirit. It turns out that the Holy Spirit is grieved by this.
We cannot say, “Holy Spirit, don’t listen to anything right now. Holy Spirit, just close Your eyes for a while. This is mine; this is human.” That will not help. We cannot hide behind fig leaves. In other words, this will affect your relationship with the Holy Spirit.
That is why I often hear people say: “I’m trying to build a relationship with the Holy Spirit, but it isn’t working. I come into the secret place, sit quietly for a day (two, three, a week…), lose patience, and leave because I don’t hear anything. I don’t want to simply waste time.”
We need to build a relationship with the Holy Spirit not only by sitting on a chair in a quiet room and asking questions. Relationships are built outside the room, through a way of life that does not grieve the Holy Spirit outside the secret place.
It is very important to understand that this grieves Him. I looked up the word “grieves.” What does it mean? The Greek word is “lypeo”—to burden, distress, torment, oppress, cause anguish, sadden, grieve. These are all the meanings of this word. In other words, these actions truly distress, oppress, burden, and cause anguish to the Holy Spirit. Because He is holy. And He is in you, and He is a hostage. He is forced to hear this, forced to look at it, forced to feel it, but this is not His nature. This is not His character or disposition.
Therefore, if we think only about ourselves—that we have been offended—we will respond this way. But if we think that this oppresses, grieves, and saddens the Holy Spirit, then we will have an entirely different perspective on our emotional responses and reactions. We are commanded to be kind, compassionate, and to forgive one another.
That is why Jesus, instead of calling down fire, said: “Forgive them; they do not know what they are doing.” That is why Stephen, filled with the Holy Spirit, also asked for forgiveness for those who were killing him at that moment.
In the Septuagint, the word “lypeo” is also translated as causing someone sorrow or bringing someone to grief. So this kind of reaction, regardless of whether we have been treated fairly or unfairly, truly brings the Holy Spirit to grief and saddens Him. And in the Bible, this word is translated as grieving the Holy Spirit. That’s how it is, friends.
So, a believer must not excuse himself by saying that this is simply his character. You need to understand that if you say, “That’s just my character. I’m simply a passionate person,” or “That’s how I was raised,” or “I’m not perfect yet,” it does not change the fact that the Holy Spirit is quenched, grieved, and oppressed. And if we grieve the Holy Spirit, it will affect whether He communicates with us, whether He answers our requests, and whether He will work through our ministry. It is a chain reaction.
That is why only a few people—just a handful—can walk with the Holy Spirit without restrictions. But we should not think that this is difficult. It is better to think: “I can be that kind of person!” Because this is how it should be. This is the norm for everyone, as we read. It does not say that this was written only for Kathryn Kuhlman or someone else. It is written here for all brothers and sisters. Say: “This was written for me!” It was written for us; it is true.
And we cannot say: “I’m going through a certain season of life right now. I can’t respond differently at the moment. Things are simply difficult for me right now. It’s a difficult season of life.” That will not help. You can say anything you want, but He is grieved. And then you spend two and a half hours in the secret place asking, “Speak to me, Holy Spirit,” and there is silence. A week—and silence.
You know, I have had a lot of experience with the Holy Spirit; I have spent much time alone with Him. And I still do. Every day, I spend time alone with the Holy Spirit. Once, I remember being on a seven-day retreat, and for three or four days I heard nothing from the Holy Spirit. I was upset that I had spent money and time, yet He was not answering my questions. And I heard: “What will you do if you do not hear Me for an entire year?” And that was a good question.
You know, it’s like when a girl says to her future fiancé, “And if I say ‘no,’ will you still love me? Will you still wait for me and want to marry me?” When I heard this, I caught myself thinking that many of us are selfish toward the Holy Spirit. We want Him to answer us at our first request. And He will not answer us at our first request. Communion with the Holy Spirit is not an interrogation where we ask questions and He must answer us. It is His prerogative to answer us when He chooses.
And if we have to spend an entire month in seclusion and do not hear a single word, the right response is to continue withdrawing and developing the relationship. I am not saying that everyone should expect this. But believe me, the longer we have disrupted our relationship with the Holy Spirit, the more difficult it is to restore it. That is true. For some, everything may take the shorter route. For others, it may take the longer route. That is true.
It is not we who choose; it is not we who decide for the Holy Spirit. We do not know how much He is grieved or will be grieved by something we do. We do not know. There is an extreme form of grieving the Holy Spirit described in the Bible. Extreme. It is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. It is not forgiven a person, neither in this age nor in the age to come. In other words, there are degrees of grieving Him.
There is an ultimate point—such a person does not even receive forgiveness. The Holy Spirit is grieved to such an extent that there is no one left to convict this person of sin so that he may repent. Do you understand? There is no forgiveness for such a person because no one is left to convict him. It is the Holy Spirit who convicts of sin. So, this person cannot repent of it and receive cleansing from the Holy Spirit.
Because the Holy Spirit is so grieved that the person is left alone with himself. No one can help him. Because forgiveness and cleansing from sins come together. You remember the Book of Acts: repent and receive not only forgiveness, but also cleansing. Therefore, when the One who can convict and cleanse the vessel is quenched, this is what is meant by “it will not be forgiven, neither in this age nor in the age to come.” But that is a separate topic.
Simply always be ready for the fact that the Holy Spirit truly is grieved by our improper attitude toward our brothers and sisters. And I will tell you that, unfortunately, many of us neglect this. And He is grieved. That is why we have so few stories of the Holy Spirit answering us, telling us, and revealing the future to us. That is why there are so few such stories. Because they require a right relationship with the Holy Spirit. I am not making anything up. I am reading from the Word.
And secondly, there are two passages of Scripture that speak about grieving the Holy Spirit. Now we will look at a passage that is very unpleasant and unpopular. In the Church, it may be used only once every ten years. It is very unfashionable; it is not trending. And in my teachings, I may not have used this passage even once in the last ten years. This is a passage of Scripture. I have used other passages at almost every service. But I do not remember the last time I used this one. I definitely have not used it for ten years, and it speaks about grieving the Holy Spirit.
What do you think of that? I am saying this to myself right now; I am convicting myself right now. We are talking about grieving the Holy Spirit, whom we want to hear. And the Bible directly describes what grieves Him. Yet you will hear almost nothing about this anywhere. Because people do not want to talk about this passage; it offends people. I will read it, because this is the subject of today’s teaching.
And this is what the Holy Spirit told me to speak about. Not to make us uncomfortable, not to hurt us, but to show us what hurts Him, what displeases Him, what oppresses and grieves Him. So that we will not say that the Holy Spirit does not hear us. So that we will not say that spending time in seclusion is pointless. So that we will not say that He is silent and does not love us. But so that we may understand what hurts Him and what we need to do.
And I said, if we want to develop our relationship with the Holy Spirit, and it is not what it should be today, He does not need to change; we need to change!
Heb. 10:26–29: “For if we sin willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment and fiery indignation that will devour the adversaries. Anyone who rejected Moses’ law died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, counted the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified as a common thing, and insulted the Spirit of grace?”
Here is the beginning of verse 26 and its conclusion: the Holy Spirit is insulted, the Son of God is trampled underfoot, and disrespect toward the Lord’s Blood, toward the cleansing a person received, is manifested when that person sins willfully. And it is not just any person, but one who has already been redeemed, who has come to know the truth, who knows what sin is.
The Bible divides people into two categories; let us understand this right away. It says here that “after receiving the knowledge of the truth, [he] sins willfully; there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment and fiery indignation that will devour the adversaries. Anyone who rejected Moses’ law died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot and counted the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified as a common thing.” He will not be sanctified, but was sanctified!
This is not speaking about sinners who are yet to come, who reject Jesus Himself. No, no. It is speaking about us, believers who trample their sanctification underfoot. Because they were cleansed by the Blood of Christ, they thereby trample the Son of God underfoot, “count the blood of the covenant as a common thing,” by which such a person was sanctified, and “insult the Spirit of grace.”
Because a person, “after receiving the knowledge of the truth, sins willfully” (in the present tense). This has a very powerful impact. So, there are two categories of people, as the Bible divides them. There are slaves of sin—people who are in bondage; no one has set them free. They sin because they are bound hand and foot; they cannot do otherwise. And there is another category of people who have been sanctified by the Blood of Christ, who have come to know Christ and the truth. And if they sin willfully, they trample the Son of God underfoot, count His Blood as a common thing, and insult the Holy Spirit. And the Bible says that such people are subject to a much worse punishment, because no sacrifice for sins remains for them. What an interesting passage.
And, of course, I think everyone has the question: what does it mean to sin willfully? I decided to study this word more deeply as well. What does “willfully” mean? So as not to do this. The Greek word is “hekousios”—it means that a person sins of their own accord, voluntarily, willfully. In other words, consciously. When a person knows they must not do it, but does so voluntarily.
Remember, I said that one category of people is “slaves of sin”: they are in bondage, they have not come to know Jesus, they are not sanctified by His Blood; they are slaves, they do things without even understanding it. There is another category—those who know. And therefore, for them—and this is you—willfully means of your own accord. No one broke you down or forced you; it is your choice, your will. You understand that you must not do it; you understand that it is clearly sin. It is not just some minor thing; it is specifically sin. And you make the decision, that is, of your own free will, voluntarily. No one compelled or forced you at gunpoint; you did it voluntarily.
I am deliberately explaining the details so that we can understand what it means to sin willfully. It means knowingly choosing to go and do something, aware that it is wrong. In Israel, during David’s time, many people were, excuse me, committing adultery. And many people died in wars, struck down by the sword. But because of what David did, he should have died. One might say, “So many people were doing similar things.” But what did Nathan say to David? “How you have despised it—you knew, so how could you despise the word of the Lord?” And when David repented, Nathan said, “All right, you will not die.” In other words, death awaited David after such an act. It may seem that sinful people do this three times a month and do not drop dead. But death awaited David, because more is required of us.
More is required of us. We are people in whom God lives through the Holy Spirit. We are completely different people. That is why the Holy Spirit is grieved. And, friends, I did not make this up; it is written in the Bible. This is a difficult passage. It is very hard even to read. But it is true. We must speak about it, because these things will cause someone to discredit the secret place and hearing the voice of God. They will say, “I did it and did it, but it does not work! What are you telling me?! I tried it, and it does not work.” No, no, no! It works! And now we will pray.
If we seek to build a relationship with the Holy Spirit, remember this forever: He must never be humiliated, grieved, or belittled. Today we spoke specifically about grieving Him. And we learned that the Bible clearly reveals two reasons why He is grieved. The first is an improper attitude toward our brothers and sisters: instead of forgiveness, mercy, and kindness, there is anger, slander, and shouting. That is the first. The second thing we learned is when a person sins willfully. He knows it is wrong, knows there will be punishment, knows it is a terrible thing, but he does it anyway, like this (covering his face with his palm). “God will understand me. I will repent later.”
And I will put it this way: a question arises—if a person repents after something like this, will God forgive him? The answer is yes! The only thing is this: only the fruit of repentance in that person’s life will determine whether the severe punishment written about will come upon him or whether he will escape it. We do not know. David repented, and he did not die. The severe punishment was revoked. The infant died, but David remained alive. In other words, the severe punishment spoken of clearly passed him by. But we do not know; it depends on the fruit of repentance in a person’s life.
Some people simply regret what they did. They see that everything has gone wrong, they cry, and they say, “Oh, what have I done?” But that does not mean it is repentance. Repentance will be demonstrated by the fruit if a person never does such a thing again. It means there will be a scar on his life forever. And he will say, “Never again.” Some people experience only temporary regret. Then time passes, and a year or two later they fall into similar things again. You know such stories.
And I want to say one more very important thing so that this topic is complete. I know that many of you are sad now because of what I have said. But this teaching would not be complete without saying that the Holy Spirit is also kind, does not hold grudges, and can forgive quickly. Remember: He can be grieved very easily—you already know how. But know this: He will not be angry with you and hold a grudge forever. I am not speaking to everyone now, but to those who understand that this concerns them.
Once, during a time of solitude, the Holy Spirit said this to me: “You can grieve Me, but I forgive quickly.” So this is good news: the Holy Spirit is not only grieved, but He can quickly forgive us.
Conclusion from this lesson. We want to build a relationship with the Holy Spirit, right? And we will always remember: He is holy. And we will not allow it, no matter what it costs us… Perhaps you will lose your job because of this. Perhaps because of this, your dream of getting married will be shattered. I am speaking very specifically now. You know, sometimes at work, a supervisor offers a pay raise or to keep you on in exchange for sex.
Sometimes a young woman has been unable to get married for a long time, and then he appears, and everything seems to be falling into place, but he asks her to begin having sex before the wedding. There can be different situations. And it is better to sacrifice all of this than to sacrifice the Holy Spirit, than to insult the Son of God, trample on His Blood and cleansing, and insult the Holy Spirit. Amen?
Therefore, no matter what it costs you, always remember that we are not merely slaves to sin; we are different people. We have already been sealed with the Spirit of grace, and He lives in us. Therefore, our life must be a holy life.
And of course, this sometimes happens: people fall into sin unknowingly, unknowingly (!). It happened unintentionally. And God sees this; God understands. But what is counted here is when a person deliberately and consciously, of their own will, goes and sins. In other words, you know, and you go and stubbornly do it anyway. That is what is counted. That is a serious sin against the Blood of Jesus and His sacrifice. And it is said that severe punishment will follow for this.
Therefore, we will never disregard sanctification or the Blood of the Lord. He sanctified us and cleansed us. And close your eyes; I want to pray now. Because there is always a choice when you hear a message like this.
I spoke about insulting the Holy Spirit and about His patience. You know, let it be like bitter and sweet water. Like when John ate the scroll, and it was bitter at first, but then it was sweet in his stomach. Or the opposite: it was sweet when he ate it, and afterward it became bitter. But let this be something similar. The fact that He can be insulted is possible; it sounds bitter. But the fact that He is patient, despite the fact that many people behave improperly—He still endures, He still does something in our lives, He still remains with us—let that be sweet in our stomachs. In the name of Jesus.
And there are different people here. Some of you are keeping yourselves pure. I can tell you only one thing: continue, pay the price, and keep yourselves pure. You may look strange; you may look unfashionable. Perhaps—especially if you are young—people will say that you are backward, dinosaurs: “You should try all the pleasures, so to speak, of this sinful world.” Or someone may explain to you that everything the Bible says is wrong. “Be free, relax, God loves you.” Do not fall into this trap! Sin remains sin. Therefore, hold on to the standard—for those who are holding on to it, hold on!
Those of you who realize through this message that you have insulted or are insulting the Holy Spirit, from today do everything possible to remove this in the right way. And bring forth the fruit of repentance. If anyone has had unlawful relationships or connections, they must be broken off. If there has been sin, shouting, anger, or other things—if you have left many comments online and poured out a lot of filth on someone, delete it all so that it will not work against you.
If you come home and create terrible situations at home for your children, parents, husband, or wife… Anger, shouting… If you still cannot forgive someone, if something was taken from you or you were hurt… Put every area of your life in order! Because we want to have a relationship with the Holy Spirit.
I will pray: “Holy Spirit, we thank You that we can speak about this openly right now. Because we do not want to be blind. We do not want to do certain things, fail to see the results, and remain in such a state. We want to meet Heaven’s standards, as Your Word says. Thank You that we are redeemed, cleansed, and sanctified by the Blood of Jesus Christ. We value this. We value this sacrifice. We value what happened.
And I pray right now for those who have neglected this. I know that You always have forgiveness, and You always have a way out for such people. I ask that everyone who needs it would take this way out, come out of this bondage, and bear the good fruit of repentance. I also pray, God, for each one of us who is forced to participate in certain situations or stories where people are doing something wrong. Help us show love, peace, forgiveness, and patience, and in no way show rage, anger, shout, or hate these people. In the Name of Jesus. Keep us from this evil.”},{
Friends, here the Bible speaks of “brothers and sisters,” that is, the Body of Christ. There are boundaries here. Regarding our brothers and sisters, please guard your mouths. Forgive, just as Jesus forgave you.
And in conclusion, I want to pray once more. Remember that the Holy Spirit told me that He can be grieved very quickly, but He can also forgive quickly. And think about this now: your relationships can be restored very quickly. If only you make the right decision today and remain committed to it.
And I pray that our gatherings would change. I am not talking about our church service; everything is fine here. I pray that all our gatherings in general would change, so that there would be no shouting, anger, quarrels, divisions, or unforgiveness among us. May we have peace, patience, love, and kindness in the Name of Jesus. May we move toward the standards by which Heaven lives. This is not something impossible. This is how Heaven lives. And God wants us to begin living exactly this way here and become accustomed to it. Heaven has come into our lives through the Holy Spirit. And He wants to teach us the culture of Heaven even now.
I pray in the Name of Jesus for those of you who have difficult conversations ahead. You are now in a legal dispute with someone or in some kind of conflict with someone. I sincerely believe, and I pray about this, that today’s lesson will be a wall and a fence of protection for you. So that when you come to this dispute, when you stand before your accusers, when you go somewhere, you will show these fruits. And that you will come out victorious and stand firm. I pray in the Name of Jesus. That you would forgive, not judge, not become angry, and not shout. Come out victorious and say, “I did this! And from now on, it will be this way.” Thank You, Holy Spirit.
And the Bible guarantees us that the Holy Spirit can have a relationship with us. Our main responsibility is not to damage this relationship. Therefore, this is another lesson, another detail. And I believe that our relationship with the Holy Spirit will grow better and better each time. And we will all benefit, because we will all hear God clearly. We will all know the future. And we will all be able to be led. Amen.
